What to Do With Your Hands When Standing

7 min read · Aura

What to do with your hands when standing: let them rest loosely at your sides, lightly clasp them in front of you, hold one wrist, rest a thumb in a pocket or hold something like a drink. Those neutral positions read calm. What looks nervous is constant fidgeting, touching your face or crossing your arms tight across your chest.

If your hands (or the rest of your body language) give away how you feel, Aura pins down that leak and gives you one small move a day to fix it: Find my aura leak.

Why hands feel awkward

You never think about your hands until you're standing in a room with nothing to do. Then suddenly they feel huge.

Here's why:

• They lose their job. Most of the day your hands are busy: phone, bag, keyboard, food. Standing still takes that away.
• You notice yourself. Standing in front of people makes you self-aware, and hands are the first thing your brain grabs onto.
• Nerves need an outlet. Nervous energy often comes out through your fingers: picking, tapping, twisting rings or sleeves.

The fix isn't finding a perfect pose. It's having a couple of default positions ready, so your hands have somewhere to go.

5 neutral hand positions

These are the safest answers to "where do I put my hands when standing?" Each one works for guys and girls, at school, at parties and in photos.

1. Arms at your sides

It feels the most awkward and looks the most confident. Let your arms hang, fingers slightly curled and relaxed. It shows you're comfortable enough not to hide anything. At first it'll feel like your hands are hanging there doing nothing. From outside, it looks calm.

2. Loosely clasped in front

Rest one hand in the other at about belly-button height. Keep it relaxed, not a tight grip. It's a good choice when you're listening or standing in front of a class.

3. One hand holding the other wrist

Similar to clasped hands but a little more casual. Can be in front or behind your back. Behind the back looks composed; just don't hold it rigidly.

4. Thumb in a pocket

A thumb hooked into a front pocket or one hand in a pocket with the other free is a relaxed, casual look.

5. Holding something

A drink, a folder, your phone (held, not scrolled), a bag strap. It gives your hands a natural reason to be where they are.

Hands in pockets: yes or no?

This one comes up a lot. The honest answer: sometimes.

Fine:

• One hand in a pocket, the other free.
• Thumbs hooked in front pockets.
• Hands in jacket pockets when it's cold.

Less great:

• Both hands jammed deep in pockets while you're talking to someone. It can look closed-off or unsure.
• Hands in pockets with shoulders hunched up. That's a classic "I want to disappear" look.
• Fiddling with things inside your pockets.

The rule of thumb: pockets are fine for casual moments. When you're talking to someone or want to look engaged, take at least one hand out.

Holding something

Having something to hold is the easiest fix, and it's why people at parties always seem to have a drink.

Good things to hold

• A drink (any drink).
• A notebook, folder or book.
• The strap of a bag.
• A jacket over one arm.

Hold it well

• Hold it at about waist or chest height, not up near your face like a shield.
• Keep it in one hand so the other can gesture or rest.
• Don't fidget with it: no peeling labels, clicking pens or twisting straps.

What to do with your hands when talking

When you talk, it's natural and good to use your hands. Keep gestures in the space between your waist and your shoulders, open-palmed and relaxed. Then let your hands return to one of the neutral positions when you finish your point.

Positions that read nervous

Some hand habits quietly give away how you're feeling. You don't have to ban them all, but know what they signal.

• Crossed arms, tight. Can read closed-off or defensive. (Loosely crossed and relaxed while listening is fine, and sometimes people just feel cold.)
• Touching your face, hair or neck a lot. Often reads as nervous or self-conscious.
• Fidgeting. Picking nails, twisting rings, playing with sleeves or zips.
• Clenched fists. Reads as tense or angry.
• Hands hidden behind you, gripped. Looks stiff, like you're waiting to be told off.
• Constantly checking your phone. Hands busy, but you look like you'd rather be anywhere else.

If your hands are nervous, often your eyes and feet are too. Our guides to how to have presence in a room and how to walk with confidence like James Bond cover the rest of the body.

The catch is you can't see your own hands while you're talking to someone. You might be fidgeting the whole time and never notice. Aura's 16 questions tell you if body language that gives you away is one of your leaks, then give you one small move to do each day, with a one-tap check-in at night so the habit actually sticks. Find my aura leak

Bonus: what to do with your hands in photos

• Solo pictures: one hand in a pocket, the other relaxed; or hold something like a jacket or drink.
• Pictures for guys: thumbs in pockets, arms relaxed, or one hand adjusting a cuff or watch.
• Group pictures: arm around a friend's shoulder or back, or hands loosely clasped in front.
• Avoid: arms straight and stiff at your sides with fists, or both hands awkwardly hanging in front.

What to do with your hands when presenting

Start with hands loosely clasped in front at waist height. Use open gestures to make points, then return to that base. Avoid holding the sides of a desk tightly or keeping hands in pockets the whole time.

Practice in a mirror

A mirror (or your phone's front camera) is the easiest way to get comfortable with this.

1. Stand normally and notice what your hands do on their own.
2. Try each of the 5 neutral positions for 30 seconds. Which feels most natural? Which looks most relaxed?
3. Talk for one minute about your day while standing. Watch your hands. Where do they go?
4. Pick one default position for standing and one for talking.
5. Use them in real life this week: in line, at a party, before class.

It'll feel forced for a few days. Then it just becomes what you do.

Stop your hands from giving you away

Now you know what to do with your hands when standing: pick a neutral position, keep one hand free when talking and skip the fidgets. In the next minute, Aura's 16 questions show whether body language is where your aura leaks, give you an aura tier and hand you today's small move. It works on your phone or laptop, and it's a one-time payment with nothing to cancel.

Find my aura leak

FAQ

Where should you put your hands when standing?

The most relaxed options are loosely at your sides, lightly clasped in front of you or holding one wrist. A hand or thumb in a pocket works for casual moments. Having something to hold, like a drink, is also a natural fix.

What do you do with your hands when standing still?

Pick one neutral default position and let your hands rest there, like arms at your sides or hands clasped in front. The key is not moving them much. Stillness reads as calm.

Is putting your hands in your pockets bad body language?

Not always. One hand in a pocket or thumbs hooked in looks casual and relaxed. Both hands deep in pockets while talking to someone can look closed-off, so take one out when you want to seem engaged.

What should I do with my hands when I'm nervous?

Give them a job: hold a drink, a notebook or your other wrist. Avoid touching your face or fidgeting, since those draw attention to nerves. Slowing your breathing can also help your hands settle.

What do you do with your hands in group pictures?

Put an arm around a friend's shoulder or back, rest a hand on your hip, or clasp your hands loosely in front. Avoid stiff arms and fists at your sides. Relaxed and slightly angled usually looks best.